Not ready yet

Things that i realise about my ex is they never fall in love with me. I never have short relationship. Its always 1 until 2 years. But they not in love with me,they in love to be in relationship. And i just the object in that relationship. They just cant stand to be alone. They need approval that they are loved. And,i hate the truth that i same with them. I like being with them because i like to get attention. To have somebody who care with me. Not because i like to be with him. It means im in relationship to get approval. To fullfill myself needy. I think im not ready for relationship right now. Until i love somebody for the way he is,not for what he did to me. Not for his attention. Not just because he being nice. I want to be with somebody who i feel comfortable,for imperfect in himself. I dont want to be in relationship jusr because human need a couple. So,as long as im not contentment with myself,im not gonna get into a relationship. Im not gonna put myself on fake love anymore